Southern Math Exam
We are sick and tired of hearing about
how dumb people are in the South. We challenge any so-called smart Yankee (or
furriner) to take this exam administered by the University of (well... you know
where :))
----------------------
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a
10-pound possum.
2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your
front yard? A '65 Ford Fairlane, a '69 Chevrolet Chevelle or a '64 Pontiac GTO.
3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of
shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to
condense the product?
4. A woodcutter has a chain saw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the
pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in
size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will be drunk
before the trees are cut down?
5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12
simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone layer?
6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock
foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor
is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be
killed?
7. A man owns a house in Kentucky on 3.7 acres in a hollow with an average slope
of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile
home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric
appliances to sit out front?
8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a
secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on
secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a
muffler?
9. A coal mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine
employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of
the 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the
shift?
10. At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how
long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the
Interstate to breed a country-western singer?
| Jay R. Chase Copyright © 1997 [Chase Family -Houston, TX USA]. All rights reserved. Revised: February 28, 2006 . |