TOP 12 THINGS LIKELY TO BE OVERHEARD IF YOU HAD A KLINGON PROGRAMMER

12. "Specifications are for the weak and timid!"

11. "This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!"

10. "You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the original Klingon."

9. "Indentation?! -- I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!"

8. "What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software 'releases. 'Our software _escapes_ leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake."

7. "Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' -- they have _arguments_ -- and they ALWAYS WIN THEM."

6. "Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak."

5. "I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth contest. They will not concern us again."

4. "A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!"

3. "By filing this bug report you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die!"

2. "You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!"

1. "Our users will know fear and cower before our software. Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!"

You might be a Redneck Jedi if…

You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y’all."

Your Jedi robe is camouflage.

You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.

At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.

You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.

You have ever had an land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.

The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.

Wookies are offended by your B.O.

You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.

Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the darkside...it’ll be a hoot."

You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.

You ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke shorts.

You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.

You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.

You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with redwood deck.

You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.

You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn’t have to wait for a commercial.

You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.

Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.

If you hear . . . "Luke, I am your father and your uncle